East Cowes Enema - Clean Sweep
THE ENEMA - East Cowes Clean Sweep
A bracing –3°C greeted 21 hardy Wight Tri souls this morning as they lined up for the East Cowes Enema Duathlon— named after a certain procedure that promises to flush out weaknesses, excuses and possibly your will to live.
This winter-series featured a 2.2km or 4.2km trot along the Esplanade, Cambridge Road and Old Road, followed by a 10km bike loop (or two, for those who enjoy suffering) down to Fairlee roundabout and back. A route guaranteed to get the heart & guts pumping.
Dress Code: Hats, scalves, gloves and thermal underwear were a must unless you were one of the brave few who decided to bare a bit of flesh. Chapeau indeed.
Cooper Road Safety scoped the course yesterday and flagged a particularly icy patch at the top of the first hill — the sort of spot where one wrong step could’ve turned the Enema into a full evacuation. Miraculously, no slips, trips or dramatic bum‑plants occurred.
One chain did pop off and a few athletes took “the scenic route” back to transition, but everyone returned intact and un-soiled.
Finishers warmed up with hot drinks and savoury delights from the Bake Off table — egg cups, quiche but it was the sausage rolls that were favourite
Predicted times were impressively tight, with four athletes landing within a minute of their estimates. Clearly the Enema sharpens more than just the digestive system.
• 1st — Golden girl Jurgita Bates surprised herself just 10 seconds off her predicted time
• 2nd — Jack Elton-Waters, 27 seconds out
• 3rd — David Anderson, 35 seconds out
• 4th — Paddy Condy 37 seconds out
New Chairlady Lucy Doorly arrived to cheer everyone home, looking suspiciously fresh for someone who’d just travelled 24 hours back from Asia. Jet lag? Not today. She was perkier than half the field and ready to draw the number for a new raffle. Newbie Mike Burt won a coveted Wight Tri bobble hat.
Massive Thanks (and Warm Thoughts) to our frozen hero’s who time-keep, marshal, volunteer, provide the pop‑up cafe and set out signage: Neil Cooper, Ann & Steve Dines and Mike Kimber — who stood in temperatures cold enough to make anyone’s backside clench involuntarily.
Coming Up
• Next Duathlon: Gurnard — 8th Feb the ‘biscuit’ theme bake off
• Next Week: StubbingNOT 10k — 11th Feb, Yaverland, 10:00am
